to you...

I need YOU. I need your advice. I need your presence. There are things I need to hear from YOU!

During these terribly hard times when I need YOU... I talk to you, and I know you can hear me. I talk to you while these alligator tears stream down my puffy red face. I talk to you during good, celebratory times too... because I know you are proud of my accomplishments and successes. I picture your smile and our time together... this makes me cry harder.

YOU are in my heart and in my aura... but do something for me.... I need YOU to send me some kind of sign. Anything, really... to let me know that you are listening, to let me know what I should do, and to give me some kind of advice telling me not to quit.

Because right now... I want to quit. Quit anything and everything that is hard.

I am a good person. I know I will be great. I know that this isn't for nothing, and that I will have some kind of future doing something at some point in my life.

But right now... I'm drowning and I feel myself getting deeper and deeper into this body of water that pulls me under just a lil' more everyday. Right now... I'm the furthest from believing in myself. Right now... I'm not totally sold that I can do this.

I need YOU. YOUR guidence. YOUR help. YOUR instruction. YOUR presence. YOUR being.

I need YOU, Dad.