9.28.2011

son.of.a.bitch

(sorry, Mom... there was no other word to use.)

It should sum up my first day of "crap, I don't know what the hell I'm doing and everyone around seems to understand perfectly".

I'm a mess.
I hate crying.
I hate the alligator tears that flow so easily from my huge green eyes.
... much less in front of people. That is THE worst!
Crying is for my office. Alone.
Crying is for my car. Alone.
Crying is for pansies who don't believe in themselves.
*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*

I hate the fact that I haven't a tough skin.
I hate the fact that I am an anxious person.
I hate the fact that I am a nervous person.

Does this mean I hate who I am? If so... how do I start to love myself?

-- big alligator crier.

4 comments:

  1. You need a hug and a laugh. Wish I were there, I'd supply you with both!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Does this article remind you of anyone?

    http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2011/09/28/how-i-kicked-my-coke-habit/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Becky! I'm sorry! We will chat soon!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Becky, don't you realize that the things you seem to hate about yourself are what make you so special? Your thin skin, your ability to feel rather than be cold and bitter like the rest of us... These are the things that make you so amazing! Don't forget it...

    ReplyDelete

leave a comment... it makes me feel loved :o)